Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Women and our financial independence.

Are you so broke you could cry? Or are you crying right now?  You are not alone. 

For women it is so much harder to be without. Because often we have more than just ourselves to take care of.  And if you are like me you gave up a life in which given a short bit more time you could have had stability and independence but you gave it up for your family.  I was 2 years from finishing my degree(i had already been in school for 4 years...oops) and I was leading a pretty happy independent life, flat broke and on my own!  I left that for a man and the promise of stability and family.  I got the family...still waiting on the stability.

As I type the lucky man is in school.  Laid off, but still, he's lucky to be in school.  And I sit here watching my beautiful son and just as unemployed as the man. 

 Neither of us are bringing in an income.  But only one of us will be the worse if we do not succeed as a family.  Why? Well, because as a woman without a degree I will statistically make less money than my male counterpart.  I will work harder than him to make the same income.  I will more than likely do this as the main child care provider as well. 

So, what does someone like me do??  I would love to go back to school. But loans are not an option.  I will have to see about grants and subsidies.  So, what else?

So I have attempted to sell a product via the internet, this great big world community.  But I'm not just selling a product I'm selling myself. I have to take just as much time away from my son to do this as if I were working outside the home but I make way less.  I have to market myself as much as possible and still find time to produce a product,And what if after all that work the product doesn't sell?

I still have to clean my house, watch/play/feed the boy, make dinner balance our sad books.  All without the praise  my partner receives for his going to school or working.  These aren't complaints facts about the tiresome double standard many women face everyday.  We deal with it as best we can.

But if we were to take an honest look, many of us, if we were to ever leave our significant other or if they left us or there were an accident we would have nothing. And what is worse those of us who have been out of the work force for any significant time will have a very hard time transitioning back into the work force. 

So, as I bide my time until I can find a job to pay for school and bills and my old loan that well lets be honest is one scary mother... I try and sell myself(my product) in one way or another so that I can slowly gain financial independence and procure some personal security in case the unspeakable happens and I am left to once again fend for myself. 

Are you ready if that happens?

Will your art, crafting or side business sustain you  if the worse happens and you are left to do it on your own?

 I really think women need to support each other more than we do.  What we don't realize is that it may happen at anytime and that the support of your "sisters" is what will keep you above water.  We have to quit degrading each other and be more uplifting.  If you have and can give do. If you can't give monetarily give of your heart.  That may be the most precious gift you can give a friend who is struggling to keep her self and family together in these times of uncertainty.

Just a little thought.

**I should also mention that anything I will do from this point on including the things I do for myself are all to ensure that he has the best possible life I can provide for him.  That includes, showing him what a strong independent and self sufficient woman looks like.  He will learn through my success and failures and how I deal with them. And how I allow others to treat me.  So, if I sit back and refuse to take action and responsibility for our futures(his and mine) he will see that and think that that is an acceptable way for women to be.  But is it? 


  1. A very nice post. I know you will set a good example for him, whether you work to support your family or simply work to better educate him on life and what is right and wrong.

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